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October 22, 2009

One day on Chennai roads- Part 1(Toastmaster topic)

Filed under: General — Tags: , , , , , , , , — magesh007 @ 3:38 am

In our office we’ve a bi-monthly Toast master session.This is just a transcript of my speech.
(I read a quote somewhere “After a speech you will always have two versions of it ‘What you said and what you intended ‘  ” )
So this transcript is more of ” what I intended ” ..

“The topic I’ve selected for today’s toast master sesion is ‘ One day on Chennai roads’.It’s really funny to say that ‘ On Chennai roads’ because in Chennai almost every road you take, is dug out, so most of the times you will be travelling IN Chennai roads.
In Chennai the PWD works very fast, because they give contract for digging the roads even before they are laid, so the workers wait patienly till the road is laid, once it is done then they happily go there and dig the roads.
All roads are like burrialgrounds except that, these are duggged out  for your death and not after your death.

Those who are getting contract to lay the roads may be relatives of Band-aid company owners I think, because almost all roads are having patch works only.

We know that the goverment in Center and State is lover friendly, you can see that clearly from the couples  who are travelling on bike on Chennai roads , they enjoy every bumps on the road,just imagine how much it hurts a bachelor like me .
If the goverment want to  keep the lovers happy why not they lay a part of the road for lovers with a speed break at every 50 metres atleast guys like me will travel fast.Don’t think that I’m jealous, I’m telling this because majority of the people here are bachelors so I’m just reflecting them.

Some times my friends will ask me, ‘Have you ever seen a ghost with legs?’, my answer to them is ‘I don’t know whether ghosts have legs or not, but I know they have three tyres and we call them as Autos in Chennai’.
If Autos are ghosts then Auto drivers are ghostriders.Autos break all the rules of physics and traffic, they care for no one.When traffic police catch people for drunk and drive I wonder why don’t they book Auto drivers for drunk and drive because I dont see any Auto driver who drives in one lane, they always drive  the vehicle  in zig-zag motion , like pepsodent tooth brush.
Like White petrol for Aeroplane ,I think these Autos have Wine petrol thats why they are always tripsy.Sorry for comparing auto drivers and people who drink and drive, because they drive much better than Auto drivers.
I can compare Indian gals to Autos, they are the masters in tricking you.They will show all kinda signals and keep you guessing always , you should not believe those signals because if u believe them  I’m sure you will end up in an accident .If unfortunately  you are attracted and are going behind them instead of overtaking them, atleast dont let them aware of it, once they know that you are behind them , thats it,they will play all tricks to keep you behind them forever ………….. ”

This is first part of the session,if I get some positive response (even if I dont get also 🙂  ) I’ll post the remaining parts 🙂

One day on Chennai roads- Part 2

One day on Chennai roads- Part 3

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